The Real Escaflowne
by Jali
Summary: Well, we all know that famous song by the rapper, Eminem, right? Check this out! You won't be dissapointed!


The Real Escaflowne

The Real Escaflowne

Ehehe... Enjoy... *snicker*

(Static Sound)

May I have your attention please?

Will the real Escaflowne please stand up?

I repeat,

Will the real Escaflowne please stand up?

We're gonna have a problem...

Ya'll act like you've never seem a giant mecha before,

Jaws on the floor,

Like Dilandau, 

When Van bust in the Zaibach's front door (Boom!)

Started kickin' his ass worse than before, (Ouch...)

And Dornkirk's not beggin' for more...

It's the return of the...

"Oh wait, 

No wait, 

You're kidding,

He just didn't stab who I thought he did, 

Did he?" (Oops...)

And Allen Schezar said:

Nothing you morons.

Allen's dead, 

He's locked in my basement (Ha ha!)

And you know, 

Princess millerna loves these big mechs,

Run around like (Chika-chika)

Dryden, 

I'm sick of him.

Look at him, (Uh huh?)

Grabbin his "how-to" books,

Hittin' on you-know-who. 

Prince Chid's so cute though.

Yeah I probably got a couple of screws loose, (Whoops!)

But no worse, 

Than what's goin' on in Folken's bedroom (Meow)

Sometimes I wanna get on TV, (Yeah!)

And just let loose,

But can't,

Cuz its cool for Hitomi to lose them shoes. (Yup)

Van's sword is on his hips,

Van's sword is on his hips,

And if you're lucky,

Allen will give you a little kiss. (*SMOOCH*)

And that's the message that we deliver to little kids:

That they're pink-haired cats,

And parentless kids.

Of course their gonna know by the time they hit fourth-grade,

They got Hitomi's tarot cards, 

Don't they?

But if you feel the way I feel about the antidote,

Go tell the mole man, sing the chorus, 

And it goes:

I'm Escaflowne 

The real Escaflowne

All you other Escaflowne

Are just a bunch of phonies

So won't the real Escaflowne

Please stand up

Please stand up

Please stand up.

Cuz I'm Escaflowne 

The real Escaflowne

All you other Escaflowne

Are just a bunch of phonies

So won't the real Escaflowne

Please stand up

Please stand up

Please stand up.

Don't fight,

Van makes me do it though,

And we're bonded by blood you know.

Think I really care about DBZ? (Hey Goku...)

Oh please,

The critics just adore me.

"But Eriya, (Yeah?)

What if you win? 

Wouldn't it be odd? (Odd?)

To know you're just as lucky as your sister,

And Dilandau's a fraud?"

You better switch me chairs,

So I can see all of Allen's affairs. (Ooooh.....)

When will Schezar loose all that hair?

I can't believe Marleen liked him,

And Prince Chid is the Heir.

"Yeah, he's cute,

But I think he's married to Gaddes!" (Hee hee..)

I'm sick of all you little Zaibach troops running around,

All you do is annoy me,

So I have been sent here to destroy you! (Mwahaha!!!)

And there's a million of us,

Just like me,

Who have energists like me,

Who can transform like me,

Who fight like me,

Walk, stalk and fly like me,

It might be the next best thing,

But not quite me.

Cuz I'm Escaflowne 

The real Escaflowne

All you other Escaflowne

Are just a bunch of phonies

So won't the real Escaflowne

Please stand up

Please stand up

Please stand up.

Cuz I'm Escaflowne 

The real Escaflowne

All you other Escaflowne

Are just a bunch of phonies

So won't the real Escaflowne

Please stand up

Please stand up

Please stand up.

And, could the rest of you get the Ispanos,

You're loosing parts everywhere.

Ok folks, you *know* you just LOVE Jali's disclaimers. (*Hears crickets chirping*) Oh well... I tried...

**Disclaimer:**

All right, down to business. 

This song was originally conceived by the rapper, Eminem. 

I don't care what the Officials say, his... music... is very entertaining. 

But I would *NEVER* let anyone I know listen to his music if they were under the Parisian Legal Drinking Age. 

By this, I don't mean Kool-Aid.

In turn, the English (American) VA for Chibi-Usa / Rini for the Sailor Moon Super and SM Super S dub (shudder) did a parody on the song entitled "The Real Sugar Baby." 

My version is a combo of the two. 

With the lesser of important things now drowned in a Sea of Anarchy(TM), on to the fun stuff.

What I own...

1)This fanfic.

2)My long, luxuriously thick hair.

3)The insanity of my own deranged thoughts. YOU SHALL NEVER GAIN THE CONCEPT OF WHY PEANUTBUTTER WILL ONE DAY SAVE THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!!

What I don't own...

1)Your thoughts of "Gee, this author has gone off the deep-end"

2)Eminem

3)Chibi-Usa's American VA for SMS & SMSuperS. (I'd kill myself if I had a voice like that. Or get surgery. Or go Mute)

4)Kool-Aid. That's owned by my tummy. ^_^

5)The Parisian Legal Drinking Age. 

I don't drink. 

Neither should you.

Bye bye.


End file.
